by Teresa Yanaros, April 26th, 2018

What is a Narcissist?

The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. They may also concentrate on grandiose fantasies (e.g. their own success, beauty, brilliance) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. These characteristics typically begin in early adulthood and must be consistently evident in multiple contexts, such as at work and in relationships.

Psychology Today

NOTE: This article is my opinion. I am not a health or medical professional and nothing I say should be used in the place of seeking professional or medical advice. Thanks! -Teresa

“You cannot change the world, you can only change yourself.”

It’s time to reflect. Not all people with narcissistic traits have full-blown narcissistic personality disorder to the point where they ruin every single relationship they touch (although those people ARE out there). Realize that we all have narcissistic tendencies and some of them are actually useful for self-preservation and a sense of self-confidence. Narcissism is a spectrum. Next, you must contemplate your relationship with this person and come up with a logical plan of action to determine if you can continue this relationship or not.

Step One:

First, determine whether or not the traits you are observing are abusive. (Are these things you are observing in the person deal-breakers?)

If Yes:

If they are, have you voiced your concerns and told the person to stop these actions?

If Yes:

The person might:

  1. refuse to admit they are doing anything wrong, or
  2. refuse to stop the behavior.

Clearly, either of these responses demonstrate that the individual is unable to modify the behavior, and therefore there is nothing you can do to ‘change’ them.

Let’s Wrap it Up:

In the case of abuse, step one is to bring the grievance to this person’s attention. Next, they must acknowledge the grievance as something that needs to be changed. The most important step is to observe that they are actually making steps to improve. If your grievances are falling on deaf ears or if you find you are dealing with even more abuse now that you have found your voice in the matter, then you might have to high-tail it out of there.

Most full blown narcissists refuse to even SEE that there is anything wrong with them. Or they will gaslight you and try to get you to believe there is actually something wrong with you. Do not play this game. My advice is this: be FIRM on setting your boundaries. Stand up for yourself. Be clear but don’t yell or be mean. Just stand in your truth. If the person does something that is a deal-breaker for you, say it out loud and say it often. If you realize the person really can’t change even though you’ve verbalized your needs with calm clarity, then you will have to decide whether or not you want to continue being in a relationship with this person.

And in the end, know that it’s okay to let go if necessary. Don’t beat yourself up if a person is unable to treat you with respect. Ultimately, you must decide if you are worthy of respect or not. And also remember that every step of your journey is an opportunity for growth. Lean into your life fully, with love, compassion, and grace. And if you need to, talk to someone who truly loves and cares for you. Don’t go through it alone.

All Around Us Are Pieces of the Gigantic Cosmic Puzzle. Let’s Attune to its Frequency.

Teresa Yanaros

About The Author

Teresa Yanaros, an author and millennial advocate for spiritual enlightenment and disclosure, shares news and inspirational perspectives through her professional multi-media project “Divine Frequency.” Her upbeat attitude and intense passion for driving through truth and change act as a catalyst for her philosophical and cosmic teachings. Follow on FacebookTwitter, and YouTube. Sign up for a Tarot Reading, and Shop Divine Frequency.

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